The Lie of Learning without Discomfort: Real Leadership Growth Starts with Struggle, Not Slide Decks.

In the crowded landscape of leadership development, one fundamental misunderstanding continues to undermine real impact: the assumption that more information leads to better learning and development. Programs heavy on slide decks, lectures, and theoretical models promise transformation, yet fail to change the one thing that matters most - Behaviour.

The truth? Information is not enough. Nor is understanding. What truly transforms leadership is insight.

The Spectrum: From Information to Insight

So why do so many leadership programs fall short? It helps to unpack the difference between information, understanding, and insight:

• Information is raw data or facts, and theories. It’s what fills handbooks and PowerPoints: models, theories, research findings (often presented in forms so complex, that they’re hard enough to wrap your head around, let alone apply in the real world)
• Understanding is the ability to mentally organise and interpret that information. It’s what participants gain when they can explain a model back to you.
• Insight is a deeper, more personal realisation. It’s the moment something clicks, when abstract knowledge becomes lived relevance. Insight connects the external with the internal, enabling someone to see themselves, others, and their leadership context differently.

This distinction matters because behaviour change, (in my opinion the holy grail of leadership development) requires more than knowing what good leadership looks like. It requires a felt sense of why it matters to you personally, in your context, and what you realise you must do differently.

Why Insight Matters More Than Ever

Behaviour change is notoriously difficult. As Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey’s work on Immunity to Change shows, even well-intentioned adults resist change (just read ‘change or die’) because of deeply held competing commitments and underlying assumptions. These cannot be shifted by information alone.

That’s where insight comes in. Insights break through our cognitive defenses. They illuminate blind spots. They reveal the hidden drivers behind our actions. And crucially, they create emotional and motivational energy, the fuel for sustainable behaviour change.

I’ve referenced the Leadership Impact Chain in past blogs, which emphasises that leadership development must ultimately change the environment for others at work, because that’s what drives team and organisational performance. But this chain begins with context and insight, the catalyst that enables leaders to shift their mindset, reframe their relationships, and act with greater intention and impact.

The Failure of Information-Heavy Programs

Despite this, many leadership development programs remain stuck at the information or understanding level. Why?

1. Efficiency bias: It’s easier to deliver lectures than to design experiences.
2. Scalability pressure: Large organisations often default to digital modules or generic workshops to reach more people, mistaking reach for impact.
3. Cognitive comfort: Facilitators and participants alike gravitate toward familiar models and concepts, staying safely in the realm of knowledge transfer.

But the result is predictable: leaders leave with notebooks full of models but no meaningful change in how they lead. There’s no shift in mindset, no ripple through team dynamics, and no measurable performance impact.

The Power of Experiential Learning

So how do we foster insight? I believe the answer lies in experiential learning that is active, reflective, and emotionally engaging. This type of learning approach promotes vertical development. The theory that suggests adult growth comes not just from adding new skills (horizontal development) but from expanding our meaning-making capacity. Insight is the gateway to this kind of growth, it shifts not just what we think, but how we think. I’ve seen it happen – leaders experiencing a real ‘ah ha’ moment have been forever changed and have referred to that one moment, even years later in a chance meeting.

Experiential learning isn’t just role-play or simulations. It’s any process that helps leaders:

• Confront real-world dilemmas
• Reflect on their own assumptions and patterns
• Receive feedback from peers, coaches, or stakeholders
• Make sense of experience through guided dialogue
• Try new behaviours in a psychologically safe space

Discomfort: The Gateway to Insight

It’s not easy though, there’s a reason real learning can be described as ‘uncomfortable’, because it disrupts the status quo. If insight is the key to behaviour change, then discomfort is often the door we must walk through to access it.

A mentor of mine used to say, “without the struggle, where’s the learning?” (I assume inspired by Frederick Douglass’ insight into struggle and progress). The sentiment capture sit perfectly - When we avoid challenge, when we only engage with what feels affirming or easy (much like a quick chat with our friendly AI bot), we rob ourselves of the friction that drives growth. Insight isn’t just cognitive; it’s emotional, and often inconvenient. It asks something of us. It requires action. It demands change.

Too often, leadership development is designed to be smooth, even entertaining. And while learning should be engaging and even fun, it must also be effortful. It must surface the dissonance between what we say and what we do. Taylor Hawkins often challenges leaders, asking, “interesting or impactful?”. It must press into our blind spots and reveal uncomfortable truths. Because that’s where the real work begins.

There’s a reason the phrase “ignorance is bliss” resonates because sometimes it feels easier not to know. But sustainable leadership doesn’t come from blissful ignorance. It comes from the courage to confront what’s not working, to reflect honestly, and to move forward with greater self-awareness and responsibility.

If we are going to ask leaders to step into this uncomfortable space, then we as facilitators have a significant responsibility. If we accept that the most meaningful insights often arrive wrapped in discomfort, then we must ensure we hold an environment that allows people to sit in that space feeling connected to other humans. We must design for it, creating safe but stretching experiences where leaders can wrestle and support each other, with realisation and emerge stronger for it.

Designing for Insight

If we want leadership development to deliver insight, we must design for it deliberately. That means:

• Strengthening bonds between participants: we work better together when we feel connected and supported, rather than thinking we’re the ‘only one who…’
• Creating emotionally resonant experiences: Insight often comes when leaders feel something, not just when they think about something.
• Building in reflection and dialogue: People rarely arrive at insight alone. Thoughtful questioning, peer learning, and coaching are essential.
• Focusing on the real, not the theoretical: Case studies and models have their place, but nothing replaces the leader’s own work context as the site for learning.
• Making it safe to explore and experiment: Psychological safety allows leaders to drop their guard and see themselves more clearly.
• Surfacing a compelling reason to lean in and do the hard work: Purpose plays a huge role in effective, sustainable development experiences.

From Insight to Impact

Leadership development that ends at understanding misses the point. True impact comes when leaders gain insights that prompt real shifts in how they see themselves and their role in creating conditions for others to thrive.

That’s what drives performance. That’s what reshapes culture. And that’s what makes leadership development worth the investment.

Insight is not a nice-to-have, it’s the only foundation strong enough to support lasting behaviour change.